Freaky Watermelon Videos
by Voldemort's Spawn
Summary: Eames scars Arthur for life with just one video. This is to explain the line from my spoof "Fans?". Read it, it's funny! And this will make a WHOLE lot more sense. :P Chapter 2 with Cobbs reaction up.
1. Chapter 1

**Freaky Watermelon Videos**

**You guys asked for it, so here it is! **

**Please, by no means, search or google 'freaky watermelons'. The results can be permanently damaging. You have been warned.**

**I've honestly never seen these videos and I truly don't want too. The horrors these poor watermelons endured was viewed by a friend who told me about them. **

**Anyways, like I said, here it is. I was going to give Danny and his story some love but when I stopped by to see him, well... lets just say the noises coming from Ginger's door told me to come back later. XD **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Scarred for life never took on a real meaning for Arthur. He'd seen the horrors the human mind could produce every time he went under with Cobb and the others. He'd seen people blown to pieces; the twisted humor in a subject's mind, projections mangled in ways unnatural. He'd even seen a man burnt alive.

It was nothing to him.

The scenes weren't real. They never happened. All Arthur had to do was erase them from his mind and he'd never think about them again. He didn't dream anymore, so he had no worries of past plays coming to haunt him in his sleep. Indubitably speaking, he was never 'scarred' for life.

Until one day in the warehouse, when it was just Eames and himself.

Cobb was back stateside with his children for the week; Ariadne was at her school. It was just Eames and himself, lounging about the workshop because they had nothing better to do. Eames was playing away on his stupid laptop and Arthur was doing what he did best: tinkering away. He had a nasty habit of being antsy when his hands weren't working.

It was Eames who caught his eye. He was making the strangest face Arthur ever saw. His head was tilted, his face slight scrunched together, and his eyes looked both confused and horrified.

"Your face'll stick that way if you keep it up. It might be an improvement." Arthur teased.

Eames said nothing. Normally, he'd take the bait and they'd get a good argument going. Something was defiantly not right.

"Yo, Earth to Eames, do you copy?"

"What?" Eames blinked and looked over the laptop.

"You alright? I'm not taking you to the hospital if you're not."

Eames gave him a glared look and then glanced back at the computer screen. Then he smiled. Arthur didn't like what that meant.

"Come have a look at this. My friend sent it as a practical joke."

"I'll pass." Arthur said, and went back to tinkering.

"Fine then, be a pussy about it."

Arthur knew Eames was baiting him. He knew he should just ignore it. However, what he should do and what he did were always two different things.

"What is it?" Arthur snapped, laying his tools down and walking over to him.

"I will warn you," he said, lowering the screen as Arthur stood beside him, "it's not for the faint of heart."

The grin Eames sported was enough to reel him in.

"Just show it to me already." He snapped again.

"Don't say I didn't warn you." He sang and lifted back up the screen and clicked the play button.

The video lasted for one whole minute. It was one whole minute Arthur would never forget. By the end, he was certain he was sporting the same look Eames had earlier, only with more horror and less confusion.

He now knew what it meant to be scarred for life.

Even when he was on his death bed, he was more than confident he would _never_ forget what he just saw. It was a good thing he didn't dream anymore; the nightmares would be endless.

"Why in God's name," Arthur said gradually as he found his voice, "would _anyone_ do that to a _watermelon_?"

"It's like a train wreck. You want to look away but you can't." Eames added.

"I'll never eat watermelon again."

"You think we should show this to Cobb?"

Eames looked up at Arthur and he looked back at him.

"Oh yea." They said in unison.

* * *

**Okay so I never really said what happened to the poor watermelon. I'll let you decide since I'm sure whatever you think up is probably ten times worse! Ha.**

**That was fun. I hope you enjoyed!**

**P.S.- I don't know why, but every time I envision Arthur, he HAS to be doing something. It just feels like that is what his character does; that and I truly never know what to do with him because he had so little screen time. =/**


	2. Chapter 2

Freaky Watermelon Videos

**I hate reading textbooks, so instead I **_**finally**_** wrote a companion piece with Cobb's reaction. =)**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

Cobb should have known better.

He should have realized when both Arthur _and_ Eames approached him that they were up to no good. They didn't get along; period. Nevertheless, there they were, grinning at him as he followed them reluctantly to Eames' laptop.

"You _must_ see this, Cobb-" Arthur said.

"It's outstandingly hilarious; we've been waiting all week to show you." Eames added as he took a seat and pulled up the screen.

"What are you guys looking at?"

All three turned to see Ariadne make her way over.

"I don't know yet, but apparently it's funny," Cobb told her in a bland tone as she stood by him.

Arthur and Eames glanced at each other, both wondering the same thing: should they show Ariadne too? One evil grin from Eames and a light smirk from Arthur answered their own question.

"I will warn you darling," Eames still holding his evil grin said, "it's not for the faint of heart."

"In that case, bring it on." Ariadne grinned.

"Why do I have the feeling I'm not going to like this?" Cobb asked with a raised brow.

The only reply he got was Arthur smirking in a most uncharacteristic way. He knew then he should have run for it. However, he stayed and waiting as Eames clicked into what he was planning to show them.

The video lasted for one whole minute.

Once it was over, Eames and Arthur grinned madly at the face Cobb was making. It was one of utter disgust and mild confusion.

"Did I really just witness what I think I witnessed?" Cobb asked, finally finding his voice. "_Why_ would anyone do _that_ with a... a _watermelon?"_

"I know it's disturbing but we _had_ to share," Arthur said.

"How am I supposed to look at watermelon now? That's just- just-"

"Eh, I've seen worse." Ariadne replied as if she was bored and just watched a home video of a person counting to one hundred.

"_Worse?"_ Cobb, Arthur, and Eames all said in unison.

"I'm a college graduate; watermelon porn's on the list of 'things to scar freshmen with'. Trust me, I've seen it all." She gave a light laugh.

"So, this doesn't disturb you in the least bit?" Arthur asked, still disbelieving what she just said.

"Nah. It's like any other porn. Sure it's a little freaky but then again everyone has their own little fetishes."

"You talk as if you have personal experience." Eames said.

"Who knows," she gave a coy grin, "maybe I do."

"Well I know _I_ won't be able to look at watermelons the same... ever. Thanks for ruining it for me," Cobb grumbled.

"Our pleasure," Eames grinned.

"Well I've got other things to do, so if that's all there is to it, I'm out of here," Ariadne said and gave a wave as she walked off.

Cobb, Arthur, and Eames all watched her leave and only spoke when they were certain she was out of earshot.

"I don't know about you lot, but I think I just fell in love," Eames stated, still staring off at where she rounded the corner.

Cobb and Arthur rolled their eyes.

"You two get back to work," Cobb said, trying to shake off the image from the video. "And no more freaky videos."

Arthur nodded and went back to his books. Eames gave a half salute.

"Aye Aye, Captain- hey!" Eames yelped when Cobb smacked him in the back of the head.

"That was for that video." Cobb smirked.

Eames grumbled and stuck his tongue out, huffing and going back to his research. Cobb left the room and spent the rest of the afternoon with horrifying visions of watermelon floating in his head.

* * *

**Oh if they only knew Eames meant it XD And I couldn't resist the Gibbs slap. Cobb just has the Gibbs vibe to him :P**

**I hope this gave some laughs!**

**Thanks for reading.**


End file.
